AGGRESSION/VOLATILITY

 

When a child feels powerless due to the traumatic experience they can feel angry and frustrated and scared. These feelings become deep within the child as emotional memories which can cause anger and aggression to be a response to any other feelings of powerless, shame or fear. 

Obviously when a child is aggressive or volatile, this impacts their social life, school life and often brings about discipline and punishment which can further escalate their feelings of powerlessness, fear and shame. This can then increase the aggressive behaviour which then only adds to further unpleasant responses from adults which then leads to feelings of rejection, isolation and shame. 

They can continue to escalate in these behaviours into adulthood and end up surrounding themselves with similar people or with those that become harmed by them. The anger and aggression is an expression of sadness, turmoil and unmet need. They need relationships with people who believe in them and can see past the behaviour to know that it stems from the child who was let down or not given what they were needing.

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WHAT ARE THE MOST HELPFUL THINGS WE CAN DO?

FOR CHILDREN

  • Make sure that they know they are accepted, loved and safe

  • Try and help them feel helpful not powerless and scared

  • Don’t surprise, shame, control or intimidate them 

    FOR YOUNG PEOPLE/ ADULTS

  • Help them express their anger in a positive way such as in exercise.

  • Help them understand where it comes from and validate the feelings.

  • Create a safe enough space for them to be vulnerable and be able to reflect on their past and what may be causing them to feel angry.

  • Help them find trauma therapy that works in a medium that would work best for them- such as music, art, or creative therapy.